Visiting an Old Friend

It was the week before Christmas. Outside, the night air was still and quiet as the winter chill made its presence known. Amid the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, I took time out to visit an old family friend. It had been months since I last visited and I wondered how she was doing.

We met nearly three decades ago, two years after our family immigrated to America. It was she who provided our family with shelter, warmth and security. Ever-faithful and loyal, she became a significant part of our lives throughout the years. She laid the foundation for our family’s new beginnings, enabling us to realize the American dream. Her unassuming presence was there during times of trial and tribulation, joy and triumph. Our dear friend was there to help celebrate each new milestone from graduations, to weddings, to the birth of each grandchild. Like a true friend, she had an open-door policy. We could stop by unannounced and be greeted with a warm welcome. We knew her routine well. We knew mundane details such as where her linens were stored or what items were stocked in her pantry. Hers was a place of refuge where familiarity breeds comfort. It was a home away from home.

Unfortunately, circumstances beyond our control forced us to part ways. She will always be our dear friend.

Visiting an Old Friend

Since that day, I have driven by our old house, that dear family friend, several times more. Save for a small wreath on the front door and a small sign posted on the fence, the house almost seems vacant. What a contrast to the days when this was home to our family. Back then, this house was bustling with life inside and out. On any given day, there were several cars parked outside, people coming and going, children running in and out, and a little mutt named Checkers (a.k.a. Prosty) wreaking havoc in the back lawn.

Parked across the street, I gazed at the big tree in front of the house. I recalled how my mother planted this tree as a sapling more than two decades ago. Upon my arrival, its leaves rustled as if to rejoice at the sight of a familiar face. It has been several years since I have been in this house, and many changes have taken place, but its erstwhile glory remains vivid in my memory. My thoughts meandered down memory lane. I thought about the thousands of times I drove up and down this very road, and the thousands of times I walked through the front door into a place that truly felt like home. I marveled at my mother’s uncanny ability to prepare a tasty snack or delectable dish on short notice whenever we visited unexpectedly. Strolling down memory lane, I could partake once more in countless meals our family shared together. I could hear the happy chatter of people during the many parties, family gatherings, and church group meetings that took place inside those walls. Once again, I could walk on the red-orange carpeting (a throw-back to the ‘70s, no doubt) that covered the floor until it was replaced with wood flooring years later. I remembered the small kitchen fire that scorched the cupboards above the stove, and the tireless work my mother and brother invested in resurfacing the cabinets. In my mind’s eye, I spied the collection of children’s bikes parked along the side of the house, and the ensuing bike races across the back patio, leaving tire skid marks in its wake. I could hear the grandchildren screaming and laughing as they raced around the house, inside and out, playing tag or hide-and-seek. I remembered the inflatable pool that Lolo set up in the backyard on hot summer days for his grandchildren to enjoy. I remembered staying up late, stooped over the dining table, cramming for a final exam. I remembered late nights curled up on the couch watching a movie with my brothers and sisters, and leisurely afternoons gathered ‘round the kitchen table savoring our favorite Filipino snacks.

Soon, I realized it was time to go. As I started the engine, I envisioned my father standing on the driveway on a warm summer night, donning a camiseta (undershirt) and an old sturdy pair of short pants. As was his custom, he came outside to see me off. As I slowly back out of the driveway, he starts waving both arms simultaneously like an air traffic controller, guiding me safely onto oncoming traffic. Until finally, he signals to let me know that the coast is clear, and I could safely enter Nieman Blvd to head on home. I open the window to yell goodbye as I drive away. As I often did, I looked in the rear view mirror only to see his silhouette surrounded by a haze of yellow street lights. Farther away, I could still see him waving until the road bends and we are both out of sight.

This house is special because it represents both our roots and our wings. It was 28 years ago when we put down new roots in San Jose right in this very home. Then, one by one, we sprouted wings and took flight to begin lives of our own. But no matter where our journey leads us, we will always have the memories of life in the Nieman house. As everyone knows, home is where the heart is. This house will always a have a home in our hearts.

Our Dearest Danielle

From the time Danielle was a little girl, I could sense there was a special trait about her – that of a gentle caregiver. She seemed to have an innate sense of nurturing and caring for others, especially those younger than she. As a 2-year old toddler, Danielle would pay special attention to younger babies the way a mother would, cooing and peek-a-booing. This special trait was more evident when Danielle became a big sister at the tender age of 4. She cherished her newly-appointed role as big sister and relished every opportunity to hold Joseph in her arms, to feed and burp him ever-so-gently. During those early years, Danielle was my sidekick, helping me with diaper changes, bath and feeding times. Even then, Danielle seemed to have the ability of anticipating the needs of others before they were made known. And she was quick to act. For instance, should I find myself ill-prepared for the mess while feeding Joseph, Danielle would disappear and return with a couple of wet towels and another bib for Joseph.

Therefore it is no surprise that 10 years after this photo was taken, Danielle continues to be that gentle caregiver with Joseph and Mary. The events that unfolded today remind me of that fact. I was faced with a logistics challenge by having to juggle the needs of my children and the more pressing needs of my ailing mother-in-law. Joseph was ill with a low-grade fever and a tummy ache, and wanted to rest in bed. Mary was due for her mid-day nap to be followed by a late lunch. My mother-in-law needed to be fed and taken to her oncology appointment. Ultimately, I made the decision to leave the children alone for a few hours under Danielle’s care and supervision so I could attend to their “Oma” (grandmother). At regular intervals, I called to check on them while continuously praying for faith and peace of mind. Whatever worries I had, I offered them up; and each time I prayed, each time I called, I received peace of mind. While I was busy administering Oma’s feedings, making sure she was comfortable, changing her bedding, laundering her clothes, dusting and straightening her bedroom, Danielle was busy assembling her charges and mobilizing them for action. Joseph’s job was to empty the dishwasher, clear the kitchen counter, and pick-up toys in the family room. Danielle put away the clean dishes then proceeded to load the dishwasher with breakfast dishes. Mary, in her words, “helped by giving Ate (big sister) a cup to put in the dishwasher.” On two separate phone calls, I learned that Danielle fixed their favorite sandwiches for lunch and their dinner made-to-order. She managed to take good care of her siblings while still trying to recover from being sick with fever over the weekend.

When I finally reached home that evening, I was greeted by an orderly kitchen and family room, and well-fed and happy children. I smiled, I clapped, and I praised and thanked Danielle for her kindness and support. Her willingness to serve allowed me to serve someone who needed it most. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

P.S. This special photo was taken 10 years ago by Danielle's Tita Grace, a talented photographer in her own right.

Green cheese

As well-meaning parents, we strive to ensure the health and development of our children by offering fresh, nutritious, vitamin-rich foods. However, as a mother seasoned with 13 years of experience, I know all too well the pitfalls of toddler-hood--especially during mealtimes.

There was a time before Mary turned 2 when she ate practically anything that was presented to her. She ate broccoli like it was candy, devoured peas and carrots as if they were chocolate morsels, and munched on beans like they were potato chips. She welcomed all fruit, including pink grapefruit despite its mildly acerbic aftertaste. During this period of epicurean awakening, Mary’s absolute favorite meal was extra-firm tofu in bite size cubes with about a half-cup of red kidney beans and a handful of cubed mozzarella cheese. Today, as a precocious 3-year-old, her taste buds have decided to revolt against the best intentions of a healthy diet. As if, overnight, her taste buds staged a coup and ousted her cravings for healthier fare. Her repertoire of fruits and vegetables has been reduced to 5 kinds of fruit and baby carrots. She refuses to eat peas, corn, and other vegetables. Fortunately, Mary still likes tofu, 100% whole grain breads and pasta, and she will eat broccoli topped with a little bribery.

I decided to engage in a little deception. Drawing inspiration from a recipe book my mother gave me titled “Deceptively Delicious,” I invented something called “green cheese”. Its name might conjure up images of rancid cheese or mold on weeks-old bread; but it is, quite simply, spinach! Basically, I take finely chopped spinach and cover it up with cheese. This kind of deception works best on foods like homemade burritos, grilled turkey & cheese sandwiches, turkey cheeseburgers, or most foods that include cheese. The name came about one day when Mary asked me what the “green thing” was in her bean and cheese burrito. In a panic, I searched my brain for an answer to calm her suspicion. Suddenly, of its own accord, my mouth blurted, “green cheese”.

I knew for certain that Mary was sold on green cheese when she saw me chopping spinach yesterday to put in her grilled turkey & cheese sandwich. As expected, she asked, “Is that spinach?” I replied, “Yes, it is.” Sure enough, Mary whined, “But I don’t want spinach.” I firmly stated, “This is what we’re having.” To which Mary replied, “But I don’t want spinach. I want green cheese.” Success!

Now if I can only figure out a way to make deceptively delicious Brussels sprouts!

(P.S. The beautifully designed plate is a one-of-a-kind original made by Mary's big sister, Danielle).

The 6'4" Energizer Bunny

This past weekend, we had the fortune of having my parents stay with us for a couple of days. The children were excited upon learning that their Lolo and Lola were coming to visit. A few days before, Dan and I recapped the goings-on for the weekend in anticipation of their arrival. It was bound to be a very busy, but fun-filled weekend. Danielle and Joseph had piano lessons Friday evening. Later that night, after dinner, Danielle needed to finish reviewing for a high school entrance exam on Saturday morning that lasted 3 hours. There were 300 questions! On Saturday evening, Joseph had basketball practice; and on Sunday at noon, Joseph had a basketball game. Then there were the usual tasks like house chores, making sure piano practice and homework assignments were completed, and ensuring the overall care and safety of the children (no small detail). Dan had already planned the menu, but we still needed to shop for groceries and prepare their room. We had a wonderful weekend sharing stories, laughing, and eating together. But what impressed me the most was the manner in which Dan facilitated the entire weekend with deliberate planning, gracious hospitality, and selfless conduct. Saturday began with Dan preparing breakfast while Danielle and I readied ourselves to leave for the high school entrance exam that morning. Upon my return, it was a welcomed sight to see that Joseph and Mary already breakfasted, the kitchen sink was clean, and dishes were in the dishwasher. Dan then proceeded to work outside washing the car and doing a bit of yard work. When I had to leave to pick up Danielle, Dan fed the kids lunch and put Mary down for a nap. In the meantime, Danielle and I decided to do some brisk walking exercises at Valley Fair Mall to celebrate the completion of her test. We arrived home late afternoon, shortly before my parents’ scheduled arrival. Then it was Dan’s turn to shop – at Lucky Supermarket! As soon as he returned, Dan immediately set about preparing our dinner and setting the table. He worked at a frantic pace, all too aware of the advancing hour. He chopped, he mixed, he grated, he seasoned, he diced and sliced, using fresh ingredients like extra lean meat, cheeses, spinach, lettuce, tomato, and whole grain tortillas. While the meat was on simmer, he took a break only to take Joseph to basketball practice then returned expeditiously to finish what he had started. The end result was a mouth-watering and delicious taco and burrito bar, served buffet style. Everyone, including my sister and her husband who came to join us, enjoyed a truly satisfying and nutritious meal. Shortly thereafter, Dan had to leave once more to pick up Joseph from basketball practice. He returned just in time for dessert then proceeded to clean up in the kitchen. He first had to unload the dishwasher of clean dishes before loading the used dishes. Meanwhile, the children played and the adults sat around the table engaging in post-mealtime conversation. Just when I thought he was done for the night, Dan helped Joseph and Mary get ready for bed then tucked them in with a good book. That night, we both slept very little due to Mary’s crying spells every hour, or so it seemed. She complained of a tummy ache, regurgitated a few times the next morning, and had a sickly stomach for the whole of Sunday. Sleep deprived though we were, one wouldn’t know it by the way Dan bounced out of bed, showered, and proceeded to set the table and prepare our breakfast. This time, he prepared a succulent dish of chilli relleno, chilli peppers stuffed with cheese and baked in an egg mixture. Served with a side of hash browns and a cup of freshly brewed coffee, it was a delectable way to start the day. What made it even more special was that Dan served each of us at the table. Not long after breakfast, my parents packed up to leave, and Dan started to clean up the breakfast mess. He stopped briefly to walk them outside and carry their baggage. Once the kitchen was in order, Dan took Joseph to the basketball game while Danielle and I stayed behind with Mary who was still experiencing some discomfort. After the game, Dan had a quick bite to eat then he was off to work on his mother’s yard! It was nearly dinner time when he returned a few hours later. Moments after walking through the door, Dan set the table and started with dinner preparations. We ate, we talked, we joked, we cleaned up, then we retired for the night. Whew! What a weekend it was.

Dan bested himself by being the 6’4” energizer bunny; but more significantly, he was the star that shone brightly with the love of Jesus. And to reiterate a bible verse from The Schneider Web:

2 Corinthians 9:7 reads: So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity, not reluctantly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver.